The New Phase

Recently I moved into a new apartment, and as I sit and stare out my window a bit past midnight, I can't help but look at the trees. They're everywhere. The dark shadows contrasting the nightly haze of DC in the background and it made me wonder.

In a world full of darkness, how does anything stand out.

Light.

Many people become discouraged over their constant state of single. It's hard. In a metropolitan area with hundreds of thousands of singles searching for their soul mates, it can become discouraging to wake up every morning knowing that you haven't quite pinned yours down yet.

But let me illuminate the situation for you, and help a few facts stand out from the ever living shade of dark.

1. When buying a car, do you walk into the lot... shout, THAT ONE! and immediately grab it and stroll away? No. You take the time to walk around the car, check for damages, learn the features, test drive the equipment, you get a second and third opinion and then go into heated discussions with the sales man about the worth of the car and what you're willing to deal with as a price.

Shouldn't it be the same for the person that you're supposed to spend the REST of your life with (We're pretending divorce doesn't exist). Cars only last for what? 10-20 years before you have to replace the engine or do a total re haul? A soul mate is in theory, for life. That means you're not just checking to see if this person is supposed to be with you for the next 10-20 years as a car would, it means that you're searching for someone who fits you like the contoured leather seats of an Audi R8 or the fabric comfort and safety rating of a Honda Civic.

2. When painting a room, properly... there are so many steps... and if the room previously has 20 layers of paint or 13 layers of wallpaper, you have to peel back the layers to find the actual wall... Then once you get to that true wall, it takes time, and effort to perfect the turnout.

You don't just toss a slab of paint on the wall and walk away... To truly discover the heart of a person, it takes time and effort, it also takes that same time and effort to leave your mark on their heart, and if you do it right and properly, the mark you leave might be ever lasting. Painting takes time, it takes a primer, and at least two coats, it also takes time to dry and to look at how it works within your room. I'm not saying go window shopping for a guy or to make a girl look exactly how you want her. I'm saying that like the time and struggle it takes to paint a room, finding your perfect "shade" takes a while.

and finally

3. Stop. Look around you on the street. You might complain about never meeting someone... but how often do you pass people on your way to work/school/eye doctor appointments? Like I said, there are hundreds of thousands of singles in the metro area... don't limit yourself to only the people you know, right now.

Let's be honest, saying you met a guy at a bar, doesn't sound like a great story to run home and tell mom about. Saying, well I was walking across a cross walk, when this gorgeous fellow smiled at me... I dropped my bag and he picked it up, helped me across and we stopped for some coffee... No but really?! Doesn't that sound amazing!? (Minus the part where you're clumsy). The majority of people aren't observant. They don't look around them when they're walking. People don't take the time to actually LOOK at the people around them. When walking with friends, sometimes I'll say, "wow did you see that whack hat that guy was wearing." They usually respond, "what guy? I didn't see anybody wearing a hat." Did you know that most people who are mugged, only remember the color of the person's skin... The key here is being observant, you NEVER know who you'll meet if you just take the time to look around and smile at the people walking past.

I don't have perfect advice, and I don't have all the answers, but this here... these little tidbits of hope, might help you begin a new phase in your life... a new phase where you actually do land the prince.