My Birthday Weekend

Aka, the weekend where I got some face time with SexyFace and passed up the opportunity for face time with IrishEyes, which I am sooo depressed about.

Aka, Shoot me in the face.

Aka, the continued self-sabotaging of my non-existent dating life.... because you have to actually go on dates to have a dating life don't you?

Aka the weekend where I write a blog post about how I might want to date SexyFace, if you couldn't figure that one out.

Aka, the weekend where Hh and I lost a drinking contest with a bartender, and I puked in his sink because Hh was already expelling into his toilet.

Ok

All jokes aside I actually had a pretty amazing birthday weekend.

Friday night had been planned for months... When I found out back in December that my birthday was going to be on a Friday, I immediately created a facebook event and invited the main peeps, and told them to block it off.

You see, I'm not a big, go out and do something extravagant for your birthday kind of person... I'm one of those people that like doing things with the people that matter the most to you in a setting you enjoy.

So after some Chipotle in Dupont, we hit up my favorite place to party - Rumors. There have been days where I have seriously considered getting a tattoo of their logo, with a note above it that says, "If Found Please Return to Rumors. They know me there."

For some of you Rumors might just be another bar, or a place to brunch, or that place with the drunk biddies that puked on your shoe in the bathroom at 2:30 a.m. a couple of years ago... (sorry for that).

For me, it's Cheers.

I like going places where people know my name... 

I like going places where I dont need to give the bartender my credit card when I first sit down... 

I like going places where the people know what I want, before I want it. 

So that's where I went for my birthday night, and man was it great, at least the parts I remember. There was potentially an hour or two that is completely erased from memory. 

The group got there really early, mainly because I wanted to chit chat with everyone before it got too loud to hear each other over the drone of 80s music. In fact, when we got there, all the tables were still out and the yelling and loud greetings coming from and to us when we walked in might have deterred some business. 

We clambered up to the Bartender Who Charges Too Much, because IrishEyes had a steady stream of people filling up his chairs, and SexyFace and I have a "He Likes Me"/"He Likes Me Not" kind of thing going for us, which we will explore later in this post.

Friends started to come in as the tables were cleared from the dance floor and the barstools slowly began to disperse. As friends were coming in, I sat down close to Ol' IrishEyes. We leaned across the bar and kissed each other on the cheek. Somehow our light and witty banter about how I was too young to actually be in the bar and he was too old to remember his name turned into this really intense conversation, which led to us staring into each other's eyes trying to empathize with each other, holding each other's hands and patting each other on the shoulder. 

I'm telling you people, IrishEyes is a good guy, when he's not making me do blow jobs on the bar. 

A Blow Job is a drink, people, come on! You drink it without your hands... Not gonna lie, I've always wanted to try to do it, so... 

I tried... 

And epically failed

We danced. We drank. I had an absolutely great time, because I really have some of the most amazing friends in the world, and I'm so glad they came out for my birthday.

But at some point in time people trickled out. And before I knew it, it was just me, Blair, and her BF standing down by SexyFace.. how I got from IrishEyes to SexyFace I can't remember. But I did. And I was there. 

After hearing about my birthday, SexyFace offered to give me a lift home as his gift to me, and I jumped on the opportunity, mainly because Blair and her BF had just left, and I couldn't remember whose apartment I was supposed to be crashing at. 

What started as a routine car ride suddenly became a game of 20-questions from HIM. 

I'm normally pretty nonchalant about guys in my life, I don't hound them with questions or beg them to love me, I let them make up their own minds about what they want from me. Usually it's nothing, but after chit-chatting and potentially overanalyzing the following conversation I wanted to know what you guys think...

When we got to the apartment SexyFace walked me to the door, and as soon as we got there he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a kiss, his fleece jacket rubbing against my chest. 

"So why isn't your boyfriend taking you home?"

"We've been over this, I dont have a boyfriend. Why are you not taking your girlfriend home?"

"Because I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, I'm kind of a loner. I like being alone and not having someone tying me down, or I've liked that in the past, I dont know about now."

"I get that. I live by myself it's nice not having to answer to anybody, I guess."

"So, I'm really glad you let me give you a lift so that we could chat, because I'm gonna be real, I thought you didn't like me."

"Why would you think that?"

"I just, nevermind." 

"You sure?" I looked into his eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking. 

"I just thought you didn't like me."

"Well I've got to like something about you, if I'm letting you kiss me."

"I'm glad that we got to hang out a bit. It's good to see you."

"You too, I do like hanging out with you."

"I haven't brought anyone else out to my house since you were there in October."

"That long really?" 

"Yeah I mean, I'm a loner, you know. I don't really know who I'd bring out there."

"I have a hard time believing that, look at you!" 

He shyly tipped his head down, and I reached up and fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He slowly wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm glad you invited me out here."

"You mean invited you to give a drunken girl a ride home?"

"Yeah, always."

He smiled his boyish grin and tucked his head again. As he reached for my hand, I touched his cheek before hitting his nose with mine, kind of like a goofy-ass-horse-nuzzle thing, all while I stood up on my tip toes to kiss him.

We kissed for awhile until it started to get late, and he went home, because he literally lives in the boonies, and he had to get home to take out the pup. 

Thoughts?

I don't know what it means, or if it means anything, or if all these questions he asks is just him trying to have a conversation, but it's usually always the same conversation, so I've very confused.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!? 

No but seriously, I'm totally open to your interpretations. In fact I'd love some insight. 

So that was Friday night. 

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Saturday, Hh and I had Jumbo Slice for the first time ever! (1) It was huge and (2), Man, was that greasy?! 

I also decided that I have a life goal. I want to open a bar. I'm going to call it "With the Cool Kids." So that when someone asks you where you're at, the correct answer will be, "With the Cool Kids."

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But Sunday is when the fun really happened. 

Hh and I were staying on our course of bad food decisions. So of course we had scheduled brunch at Ben's Chili Bowl, mainly because she'd never been there, and because I love cheese fries. 

We ate, then went to hang out at the good ole American University for a few hours, which turned into her cooking us a delicious pot of chili back at her apartment, which turned into us trying to figure out what to do with our lives that evening. 

Of course a night of low-key drinking at The Front Page sounded like a great idea. 

Who knew Sunday night at the Page was movie night?! We sat at the bar with the lively and definitely adorable bartender, while he put in a movie, which the entire bar watched together (seriously, what?!). 

Our low-key evening slowly began to morph as we became more and more acquainted with this new bartender... what was supposed to be low-key turned into a challenge. 

Challenge: We could not out drink the bartender, shot for shot.

When closing time came around, we waited for him to get off shift around 1:45AM. We all waltzed over to CVS, loaded up on snack food, soda, and he picked up some cigs, and then we headed to his place... for the drinking  competition. 

Between the three of us, the entire bottle of Jameson was DONE by 3:00AM. 

My guts were DONE at 3:05AM. 

Our new bartender homeboy and I were sitting in the living room, while Hh occupied the bathroom, but by 3:06AM, I couldn't hold it anymore. 

I waltzed over to the bathroom, and heard the tell-tale signs of it's ok to enter. I walked inside and proceeded to puke my ever loving guts out... in the sink. 

And because no bathroom puking party is complete with just two people, our new bartender homeboy joined us... I think he might have tried to plunger out the sink, but by the time the plunger came out, I was done puking and couldn't make any other logical thought except, SLEEP. 

I passed out on his couch - dead to the world. 

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Monday

The next morning I woke up to a hangover sent straight from Hades. I threw my shoes on and Hh and I stumbled to her car and made it back to her apartment, where we both slept for another few hours then continued with our bad food decisions, by ordering up a Ledo's pizza.

Shortly after I left to go home and soak my bad decisions in the bathtub. 

My hangover was not over until close to 8:00PM, and I wish I was making that up. 

8:00PM being the exact time Hh texted me to see if I wanted to go hang out with her and our new bartender friend, which I declined, because (1) my stomach was now singing the tune of "Fuck You." (2) I couldn't imagine driving back into the city, because as much as I adored our new bartender friend,  the thought of drinking more made me want to punch something. (3) Who was I really going to get to hang out with? Hh and our new bartender friend? Love Hh, in fact, I had just spent over 28 hours with her and it was AWESOME, but I was really just feeling that the benefits of driving into the city were outweighed by the fact I could just text her from my couch. 

At 8:30PM she sent me a text saying how she, our new bartender friend, and IrishEyes were all hanging out. WHAT?!?! 

Dying. 

Dying. 

Dying. 

Overreacting. 

Had I known that our new bartender friend was biffles with IrishEyes and that me getting up off the couch and driving into the city would have afforded me the opportunity to hang out with him outside of the typical kiss each other over the bar environment, I'd have jumped off my ass in a heartbeat. 

But, I didn't. 

So, I didn't. 

Instead I sat at home wondering what it would be like to hang out with IrishEyes with some friends in a nice low-key situation. 

And in my imagination it was awesome and involved lots of high-fives and bad jokes and inappropriate comments, sprinkled with a lot of laughs and good times. All of which would have been 100X more fun than sitting on the couch. 

And I know what you're thinking. You're wondering how in one blog post I can talk about how I like two guys. 

I do. I like lots of guys. I do. 

This goes back to that post where I'm crushed out. There is a certain hierarchy of crushdom. I have crushdom tiers of who wins out. 

I realized this while talking to Blair about my evening with SexyFace. She asked me if I would want to be in an exclusive relationship with him.

Without hesitation I said, "If dating him exclusively was on the table, I'd be allllll over it."

I started thinking about who else in my rolodex, I'd be all over and I come up with one name. 


SexyFace - over and over again. 


There's a maybe or two in the second tier and then down in the third tier is IrishEyes, probably because I don't know him like I know SexyFace. And I'm going to be real with you readers, from the moment I first asked him for glasses upon glasses upon glasses of water on the night of the great Kamikazefest, he's just always put me in a flutter. 

Christina Perry says it best -

"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart

But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start"

So while I might have oodles of crushes upon crushes, I'm not a man eater. I said it in my last post, I like these guys for who they are on different levels of like. While I do have this crush on IrishEyes, it's different and can't possibly compare to the one on SexyFace. COME ON! I gave him the nickname SexyFace! I promise he's legit and great!  

So anyway, that was my weekend, some great friends, good times, bad decisions, and a parking ticket. (Yep, in my hungover state I forgot to move my car - say goodbye to $50 checking account). 

Overall a great weekend.